Lingerie Crimes of 2015

I've missed you, my readers! Sorry for the absence. I wanted to get the second half of 2015 rolling with Lingerie Crimes! These are crimes that have happened in the past six months that may shock, interest, or, in general, just bewilder you. Lingerie Crimes aren't to be confused with how criminal the fit is for some lingerie brands (I'll let myself out), but just plain, old criminal stories.

Georgia Woman Accused Of Stealing 131 Pairs Of Underwear

In June, the Huffington Post reported on a woman trying to stuff 131 pairs of underwear in "her purse, a handbag and grocery bags." Criminals* don't usually post on Facebook about their (alleged) crimes but Ms. Julia Jones did, stating that "there may be a reason behind" her actions that are unknown to her friends, family and the public.

Why so many pairs, Jones? I don't understand!

*This fact is made up. Please don't destroy my small hope for humanity.

Looking For Answers About Underwear Thefts

Over the past six months, a Wyoming Victoria's Secret has been hit by thieves stealing $10,000 worth of lingerie. $10,000! I agree with one person's comments of "Why do you need to steal that many panties? What are you doing? Are they selling them on a black market or something?" This story raises some questions, though. Is there a lingerie ring of thieves or just an individual looking to cash in on cute PINK panties? Is someone trying to take down the "Man" and fight the patriarchy? But perhaps the greatest question is... IS there a black market for lingerie and is it called Silk (Panty) Road?

Also, in case you thought stealing vast quantities of VS merch was a rarity, then you would be incorrect.

Sirens: Mannequin Wearing Lingerie Missing After Burglary,...

This short police beat from The Chronicle deserves a small shout-out for this crime. Did they want the lingerie or the mannequin? Who knoooooows?

Frederick's of Hollywood closes all stores, strips down to Web

But the biggest criminal story of all is the closing of Frederick's of Hollywood brick-and-mortar stores! Who committed these crimes? We did!

Like Hollywood Video, Frederick's of Hollywood shuttered its doors due to the decline in actual humans going to actual stores. Instead, everyone was going to... Victoria's Secret. Now, Frederick's isn't perfect, but they make some gorgeous lingerie, like this Josefina set to the right (which you can buy online).

Keep in mind, Frederick's is a large corporation. And it's even easier for smaller, boutique stores to go belly-up, too. So don't be a criminal and go buy your lingerie at a local store. For the Oregon crowd, I suggest The Pencil Test. Don't become a criminal: buy local.

Strapped for Solutions: Bra Straps

DivaVillage

Have you ever decided not to buy a bra because of the wide straps? Nothing screams sexy like a bra strap that is wider than your belt.

Often times there IS a reason for a wide strap: if the band supports 80% of your bust, then your straps have to hold up the other 20! That means that each strap gets to support 10% of your bust weight (I'm sure you never thought you'd use physics with regards to bras)! If you're particularly busty, the weight can add up and thin straps just won't cut it.

And if you are not super muscular or don't have firm skin, those bra straps can cut in to your shoulder. If the band size is correct and the weight of your breasts pulls the straps, then that can be OK. Bra companies have added wide straps to bras to disperse all of the weight to a wider surface area (so much physics today!). And some have even added cushioned straps to really help make the experience less miserable.

So what about if your straps keep falling off? Or what if they just slide around a lot and chafe a bit? Or what if they are cutting in a LOT!

Here are the steps you need to do before making a drastic change:

Cacique's cotton molded no-wire bra

1. Tighten the straps but not enough to drag up your bra band. If the band pulls up while you're tightening your straps, then go down in your band size. You'll be in a never ending loop if you tighten your straps to pull up your band that pulls on the straps which pulls on the band, etc.
2. Consider shortening the straps. If your band is sitting parallel to the floor, your breasts fit the cups, and the gore sits flat then maybe you have a short torso. It might be time to get crafty by following Crafting a Green World's tutorial on How to Shorten Bra Straps. If you bought your bra at Nordstrom they may also be able to provide an alteration service as might other tailoring services. A bra strap that is even a little bit too long can chafe and cause red marks.
3. If neither of those methods work, then consider buying cushions OR buy a bra with a wider strap. Don't be afraid to try some of those wider strapped bras. Cacique carries a wide range of wide-strapped bras. Or Lululemon carries a cute long-lined, wide-strapped number at a reasonable price.

The Takeaway

Bra straps should be wide enough to support the weight of your breasts and only long enough to lift up slightly away from the shoulders (two fingers should fit under the strap). If they are too long they can chafe or fall off OR they could indicate your bra size is incorrect.

**If you have a particularly long torso and the straps are at their longest, then I will have to come up with a different solution for you! I'll have to investigate.

The Lingerie Libra's Lazy Girl Guide to Bra Cleaning

I have made mention of cleaning your bras by hand in the past (Cup Shapes - Molded), so I figured I could go a bit further in depth for the subject. I'm also cleaning a TON of my bras now after moving, so this blog post is real time!

Hand washing one bra usually requires a sink or a bucket. Reminder: clean sink!

Why does hand-laundering your bras matter? There are a few perks to hand washing your bra:

1) Delicate details (lace, bows, etc.) won't be destroyed with high friction.
2) Moulded cups can be damaged irreparably by machine-washing.
3) You can spot clean more easily by hand vs. a machine.
4) You use more water using the "delicate spin" portion of your washer so thus... more $$.

I'm going to guess that you will look at the list, think about the perks and then discard it as too much effort! That's what bra laundry bags are for, right? So how did I get over machine washing and jump into hand washing? Because my money matters!

There are currently six bras in this tub. Bulk cleaning!

According to Redbook, the average woman owns 9 bras! You should be refitted about twice a year (the usual time women are told to be re-fitted). Now imagine you buy 9 new bras each time you go in (humor me, please). I tend to see my size of bra priced around $68, so that's... $1224 (damn!) a year JUST on bras. You should wash your bra every 4 to 5 wearings or if you sweat/live in a muggy environment, more often! In that six month period of owning 9 bras, I will wear each of them 20 times (9 bras/182 days = 20.22 wears), washing them every 4 to 5 wearings means... A lot of washing. But that also means the longer I can keep my bras intact, the less money I'll spend over the course of a year (oh gawd, I've spent so much money on bras!!).

EVERY DAY I'M PAYING $3.35 TO WEAR A BRA.

Think about how crazy that is!

$3.35 FOR A DAY! (Sales tax not included)

And that doesn't include the money I use to clean them!

So how do I wash my bras? In bulk! I hear some women clean their bras while they're in the shower, but that seems incredibly wasteful of water (roughly 2 gallons of water a minute). So I either fill a sink (such as at the top of this post) or a tub (above). My cleaners of choice? OxyClean or Tide Free & Gentle. I use the unscented version because fragrances can irritate the skin and, if powerful enough, can mask perfume.

Free your bras of grime and stink!

I always clean bras with similar colors. Dye can bleed into other material! Even bras I have owned and washed repeatedly still leach color (especially black).

After using a gloop (technical term) of Tide or a TINY amount of OxyClean, I let my bras soak for 15 minutes in lukewarm water (not hot or cold), pour the water out, and then refill with clean water (no cleaner) unless I'm washing sports bras that REALLY need it. After they soak for 15 more minutes (and no longer smell like detergent/cleaner or... body), I will hang them to dry.

Clothing lines and 90 degree weather are perfect for my lifestyle.

There are other bra drying tips (lying flat, hanging, etc.) so do whatever works best for your space. For me, I have a handy line to dry mine on. NEVER dry your bras in the dryer. The heat can damage moulded bras, possibly shrink material, or just damage fabric.

Now you know how I do it. I don't tend to buy SUPER expensive bras or ones with a lot of delicate details (lace, especially) so what works for me might not work for you. But keep in mind: bras are an investment and should be treated with care!

On to the next load...

No bras were harmed in the making of this post.

Sports Bra: Panache Underwired

The best part of working out is the sports bra. This is when I prove to you that I'm not crazy, right? Because with articles like this from Buzzfeed I think the general consensus for D+ cup sized women is that sports bras are insufficient, ineffective and the devil in uniboobed form.

So why do I think sports bras are the best? It's because I have fallen in love (sorry boyfriend) with the

Panache Underwired Sports Bra!

Better Bras Canada

There's no denying this bra's effects on the lingerie blogosphere. Bra's I Hate & Love liked it (although they don't carry her size, she's a 28HH). Fry Sauce & Grits "really, really, really like[s] it." And Marathoning for "real" women gave it a rating of 23/25 (marked down only for bouncing and appearance). For more reviews you can flip through The DD Plus Review, Invest in Your Chest, Diary of a Fit Mommy, and A Sophisticated Pair. Also The Full-Figured Chest, Sweet Nothings, and probably a dozen others. Seriously, this thing is amazing.

Panache on Amazon

I own four of these, the most of any other bra I own (rivaled by the Freya Deco). One in gray, two in black, and one in the Olympic edition that is red, white and blue. There are currently THIRTEEN colorways available at Amazon. The price there ranges from $45 to $68. If you're thinking that is steep, well, how much do your double-bra "sports" bras cost and how often do you have to replace them? I've owned my gray sports bra for roughly four years and it's still holding itself together!

In terms of comfort, this is the most comfortable bra (not just sports bra) that I own. The wires are lined with a comfortable gel to protect against rubbing and jabbing. The material is meant to wick moisture away from the body and as a prolific sweater (I DO love to share, don't I?) I find that this does the job!

Panache on Amazon

Like a lot of smaller cup bras, there are J hooks in the back so you can make it a racer back. If the cups aren't tight enough then hooking these up will do the trick. A lot of people find it difficult to hook them together but I haven't found it extremely difficult. The band is firm (mine hasn't budged much since I bought it) so don't feel the need to size down in the band. The cups are fairly true to size. Although the front of the bra sits fairly high, depending on the top I would just wear this under regular clothes.

Are you looking for a new sports bra? Looking for a bra that isn't bedeviled? Try the Panache Sports Bra at Amazon, Nordstrom, Figleaves, A Sophisticated Pair and you can check out the stockists shown on the Panache website.

Cup Shapes - Molded

Today is a late post! Sorry for the delay! Occasionally I talk about different brands but today I will talk about moulded/molded cups!

First things first: is it molded or moulded? If you're British, it is moulded. If you're from the U.S. then it is molded. Just like colour = color! Moving on.

Freya Deco Molded - Lazeme Lingerie

Molded bras are exactly like soft-cup bras, except the main difference is the synthetic, molded cups. These molds are formed using heat on machines and they are one of greatest luxuries mankind has ever known (just my opinion, but oh well). Each layer of the bra/cups is then heat set to each other (which is why they don't easily pull apart). There's a silent Youtube video below if you want to see some being made, small scale.

Because cups are designed on a computer before manufacturing begins, the shape of the cup can vary greatly between manufacturers. The video above features a rounded shape but you could also achieve cone shapes or flatter shapes, as well. Bras are slowly becoming more and more heavily engineered (which increases cost, as does raw material increases, too). The video below is a short animation of how a bra cup is created.

One of the clear benefits to a molded cup, though, is that the outer and inner fabric is applied via heat instead of being sewn together, panel by panel. This removes some of the hands-on, human intense process of sewing individual panels. That being said, bra manufacturing is incredibly complex, starting from the design all the way to the finished product. If you want a brief introduction to this aspect, don't be afraid to watch the video below from CCTV.

What are the benefits to owning a molded bra? The cup will hold its shape forever! This is great if you want a rounded shape under sheer shirts. Or if it is cold outside you won't have to worry about any nipple shapes showing. Some molded bras are padded, too, so you can get shape and extra oomph.

What are the downsides to owning a molded bra? Storing and traveling with these bras can be a challenge, especially because you shouldn't turn these cups inside-out. The best method for storing them is "nested" so that the cups sit within the cups of the bra in front of it. A close example is below by Elle's Blonde World.

Another downside is they absorb sweat! This means that they can stain easily and might have to be washed more often than soft-cup bras. If possible, do NOT machine wash your bras and especially not molded bras. Leaving them for a soak is OK in a gentle detergent and I have even Oxyclean-ed mine because honestly... ain't nobody got time for that! BUT if you want your bras to last, I suggest you buy a gentle detergent like the Nordstrom Lingerie Wash.

Remember, because molded bras are made from synthetic material (the spongey portion) then they can't really be re-used. So if you are Eco-conscious, then consider purchasing only natural fiber bras or just soft-cupped bras that take up less space.

Celebration Lingerie

Casual lingerie. Sexy lingerie. Business casual lingerie (I'm sure it's a thing, somewhere. It will involve pinstripes, definitely). But today I felt the need to show you some celebration lingerie.

So what IS celebration lingerie? It's not a marketing ploy by any particular company but something I have created myself. Because I feel like CELEBRATING today! Celebration lingerie's visual aesthetics should remind you of fireworks or the first flowers of spring. Here are a few 2015 Celebration Lingerie sets that will hopefully help you celebrate the day.

Heidi Klum's Keyhole Boost Bra

It's bright! It's lacy! It has ribbons AND cool cut outs. Heidi Klum Intimates, based out of Australia, doesn't stray far from the standard lingerie styles. Basic black/white/nude sets, lacy numbers and some colorful pieces, but the keyhole boost set stands out for its bright colors and adorable details. This set would make me feel GREAT! Also, having boost in the name doesn't hurt. This is the Blue Atoll version of the set.

Sizes: 32 to 38 B-D

Note: Australian sizes use 10, 12, 14 instead of 32, 34, 36, etc. The cup sizes are the same as UK bras.

Agent Provocateur Karlie

Agent Provocateur is designed to be, well, provocative and sexy, but with the bright colors the Karlie stands out as a party animal, too. Do you feel like wearing this to your celebration party? I sure hope so!

Sizes: 32 to 36 A-E

marlies | dekkers dancing princess

Did anyone else's parents tell them you were a princess when you were young? Even if you're not Kate Middleton you still can be with this bodysuit. The front is studded with rhinestones and a decorative jewelry piece dangles supported at the breastbone. The back is just as gorgeous (below)!

Sizes: S, M, L

So go find your celebration lingerie. Go feel great! And rock your gorgeous self!

Lingerie Commercials and Women

Currently, there is a very large discussion about the effects on women from advertisements and photoshop. With the number of households using the internet increasing, the impact on women can only become more widespread and this should be no surprise. But as more people are reached, we do have to ask if advertisers are taking their more diverse demographic into account. Are advertisers using more body shapes, sexes, races, etc.? Are they advertising differently than they have before? And what does this mean for the people who need/want to purchase lingerie?

Today we'll take a peek at the changes I've seen in recent years toward advertising lingerie/swimwear and even a look at somethings that appear to not have changed at all!

What's New?

 H&M's Jennie Runk

Perhaps one of the biggest changes was the subtle introduction of Jennie Runk into the H&M advertising fold. There was no fanfare or trumpeting of Jennie being a "plus-sized model" (which is very different from being plus-size in the non-modeling world) at a US size 12. She was just another model. And America loved it!

Although the data is 5 years or older, the Center for Disease Control lists the average US woman as being just under 5'4" and a waist of 37.5". It is hard to look at these numbers and see the line up of Victoria's Secret angels and their measurements (take this website with a grain of salt, though) and compare them to the average American woman. For comparison, JAG Models, (Jennie's agency), lists her at 5'10" and with a 33" waist. Not the same as the rest of America, but so much closer!

aerie Real

aerie blew everyone out of the water when they announced they would stop photoshopping their models. Now, there probably wasn't a promise that they would NOT photoshop the FIT of the bras on the models, but this announcement came right at the beginning of 2014 and probably helped inspire other companies to do the same.

Triumph's "Find the One" Advertisement

Perhaps the latest and most entertaining is Triumph's new animated advertisement called "Find the One"! Spotted by my friend C.W., this ad features their spoksemodel Hannah Ferguson, a Broadway musical producer AND singers, and a rather strange frog. It captures every woman's desire to find "the one." We'll skip around the director, Tobias Fueter's, comment about how the French, "know the girls, [and how] they love beautiful things” (ugh, really?) and appreciate it for its charm and how it hits the nail on the head: the right bra is important to have a dream sequence about!

What's the Same?

I'll just kind of leave these here.

2015

2000

 1995

For a rundown of the VS show through the ages, please checkout this Huffington Post article. I believe the VS angels have been around since 1999!