I've missed you, my readers! Sorry for the absence. I wanted to get the second half of 2015 rolling with Lingerie Crimes! These are crimes that have happened in the past six months that may shock, interest, or, in general, just bewilder you. Lingerie Crimes aren't to be confused with how criminal the fit is for some lingerie brands (I'll let myself out), but just plain, old criminal stories.
Why so many pairs, Jones? I don't understand!
*This fact is made up. Please don't destroy my small hope for humanity.
thieves stealing $10,000 worth of lingerie. $10,000! I agree with one person's comments of "Why do you need to steal that many panties? What are you doing? Are
they selling them on a black market or something?" This story raises some questions, though. Is there a lingerie ring of thieves or just an individual looking to cash in on cute PINK panties? Is someone trying to take down the "Man" and fight the patriarchy? But perhaps the greatest question is... IS there a black market for lingerie and is it called Silk (Panty) Road?
Also, in case you thought stealing vast quantities of VS merch was a rarity, then you would be incorrect.
But the biggest criminal story of all is the closing of Frederick's of Hollywood brick-and-mortar stores! Who committed these crimes? We did!
Like Hollywood Video, Frederick's of Hollywood shuttered its doors due to the decline in actual humans going to actual stores. Instead, everyone was going to... Victoria's Secret. Now, Frederick's isn't perfect, but they make some gorgeous lingerie, like this Josefina set to the right (which you can buy online).
Keep in mind, Frederick's is a large corporation. And it's even easier for smaller, boutique stores to go belly-up, too. So don't be a criminal and go buy your lingerie at a local store. For the Oregon crowd, I suggest The Pencil Test. Don't become a criminal: buy local.