Bras and... Perfume

Vogue 2010, photo by Paola Kudacki

Sometimes I lay awake at night and ponder my life, the Universe, and whatever crazy thing someone invented for bras. Today is about perfumed bras. Yes, they're a thing. And some people have gotten creative in an effort to perfume their bras, outside of the normal spritz and dab. Below are examples that I would LOVE to get my hands on.

Braza Perfume Brooch

OMG, OMG, OMG! It's bling for your bra and it can smell divine! Honestly, this isn't practical at all but why not!? The Braza Perfume Brooch works by spraying your favorite perfume onto a small sponge, inserting it into the brooch and then pinning it to your bra. Now, this probably won't make waves under a turtleneck layer BUT if you're into easy breezy summer-style tank tops, then this isn't a terrible idea. Now, most perfume works best when it is heated from your body but I'm sure if you are blessed up top there should be enough heat to make this work effectively. Also, the sale price of $3.95 isn't that bad, either. They also carry a variety of other shapes, colors, sizes, etc.

Perfumed Bra by Adira

I'm not sure how effective this will be after a single wash, but the Adira Perfumed bra is super basic and is a cute color. A regular price of $6.60 is also not half-bad. The bra comes in three different scents (rose, lavender and jasmine). The company claims the scent will last for 20 washes (huh...) and is tested by International Testing Body (which technically I could not find on the internet). If anyone owns this or is willing to throw $5 my way, I might be willing to see how it all works. Yandy has a slightly more expensive bandeau version that only lasts 5-7 washes.

Bou-K-Bra

Yesterday's Perfume posted this good one from an old Vogue magazine. You put perfume on the "Scent-Petal" (don't ask me) and slip it into your bra. Not nearly as pretty as the Braza bling and maybe that's why it didn't catch on.

Dans tes Bras

Lets be clear: this section is just a play on words. Dans tes Bras is French for "In your arms" but I couldn't help adding this into the section. Maybe you could spritz it on your Braza brooch? Or on your Adira bra and panty set?! The choices are limitless!

Lingerie Crimes of 2015

I've missed you, my readers! Sorry for the absence. I wanted to get the second half of 2015 rolling with Lingerie Crimes! These are crimes that have happened in the past six months that may shock, interest, or, in general, just bewilder you. Lingerie Crimes aren't to be confused with how criminal the fit is for some lingerie brands (I'll let myself out), but just plain, old criminal stories.

Georgia Woman Accused Of Stealing 131 Pairs Of Underwear

In June, the Huffington Post reported on a woman trying to stuff 131 pairs of underwear in "her purse, a handbag and grocery bags." Criminals* don't usually post on Facebook about their (alleged) crimes but Ms. Julia Jones did, stating that "there may be a reason behind" her actions that are unknown to her friends, family and the public.

Why so many pairs, Jones? I don't understand!

*This fact is made up. Please don't destroy my small hope for humanity.

Looking For Answers About Underwear Thefts

Over the past six months, a Wyoming Victoria's Secret has been hit by thieves stealing $10,000 worth of lingerie. $10,000! I agree with one person's comments of "Why do you need to steal that many panties? What are you doing? Are they selling them on a black market or something?" This story raises some questions, though. Is there a lingerie ring of thieves or just an individual looking to cash in on cute PINK panties? Is someone trying to take down the "Man" and fight the patriarchy? But perhaps the greatest question is... IS there a black market for lingerie and is it called Silk (Panty) Road?

Also, in case you thought stealing vast quantities of VS merch was a rarity, then you would be incorrect.

Sirens: Mannequin Wearing Lingerie Missing After Burglary,...

This short police beat from The Chronicle deserves a small shout-out for this crime. Did they want the lingerie or the mannequin? Who knoooooows?

Frederick's of Hollywood closes all stores, strips down to Web

But the biggest criminal story of all is the closing of Frederick's of Hollywood brick-and-mortar stores! Who committed these crimes? We did!

Like Hollywood Video, Frederick's of Hollywood shuttered its doors due to the decline in actual humans going to actual stores. Instead, everyone was going to... Victoria's Secret. Now, Frederick's isn't perfect, but they make some gorgeous lingerie, like this Josefina set to the right (which you can buy online).

Keep in mind, Frederick's is a large corporation. And it's even easier for smaller, boutique stores to go belly-up, too. So don't be a criminal and go buy your lingerie at a local store. For the Oregon crowd, I suggest The Pencil Test. Don't become a criminal: buy local.